Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Self Doubt

Uh-oh, Houston..we have a problem. Red alert! Red alert! Red alert! Well, a potential problem!

I just looked online and I counted the weeks to go until the Honolulu marathon and I just realized that there are only 14 weeks left! Oh no! I need to get my butt in gear!

Now I know why my doctor sort of looked at me funny when I said that I would send him a post card if I finished the marathon in Honolulu and he said, "Just send me one even if you walk ten miles of the marathon".

I looked online at the Avon training schedule that I have been using and I just realized that although their marathon is 26.2 miles, that the Avon marathon is spread out over two days! Now I am freaking out, wondering if the training schedule is not appropriate for me since I will be doing the marathon in one day.

I am going to have to investigate a little more. I am now sooo nervous that I don't have enough time for training! I am over 100 pounds over weight, have not exercised in years, and I can't even get my ass in gear enough to walk consistently four days a week! Am I really going to be able to pull this off in fourteen weeks!?! My body already aches just from walking four miles on the weekends. How the hell am I going to be able to pull off 26.2?!

To add to my nervousness, one of the participants at my training today told me that she had a personal trainer from October to March in order to get her ready to walk the Los Angeles marathon. Imagine that-the skinny little thing trained for six months, yet I'm attempting to do it in four months. Even with all her training, she told me that she almost gave up at the 22nd mile.

Then she told me that her friend had walked the Honolulu marathon and said that it was extremely hard to do because of all of the humidity. So what did I do? Well, I just looked up and searched on youtube "honolulu marathon" and lo and behold, there are tons of videos of marathon walkers and runners trekking through the pouring rain. Ahhh! I am freaking out! I HATE HATE HATE humidity, and I most definitely don't want to walk in the rain!

In addition to all the freakiness mentioned before, she also told me that I will get a little tracker on my foot that will monitor me at the marathon and my family and friends will be able to track me online. I am not sure if that applies to all marathons, but that sounds really inspiring to me!

So for the next couple of days I will be getting my butt in gear and researching some additional training schedules to ensure that I am going to set myself for success.

Besides-who really cares if I don't finish, right? All that really matters is that I am going to try.


  1. That is so great about the foot tracker. It will keep all of us in "bloggingland" in-the-know of how you are doing!

    Self-doubt is going to be a part of the journey, that is probably a given. But, are you familiar with the Law of Attraction? If not, the Law is about how our conscious and unconscious thoughts can determine our reality. If you really want this, you will do it! Stay positive and try to watch your language regarding lack and limitations because similarly, they say one can attract what they don't want either! Take what works for you out of what I just said, but regardless, I believe you will do it if it something you really want to do.

    By the way, I always look forward to reading your blog posts!! I enjoy what you have to say and feel that I can totally relate. Oh, and I am in So-Cal area, too...the air quality IS awful!

  2. I think it is great that you are attempting a marathon. Believe in yourself and I'm sure you will make it. Yes, it will be hard. But all you have to do is take it one step at a time. If you are not able to walk the entire marathon realize that there is always the next one and you will achieve your goal. Hang in there, I have faith in you.

  3. Thanks Jules and Brian for all your encouragement!!


Blog Widget by LinkWithin