Sunday, June 6, 2010

Getting Stuff in Order: Part Two

Initially I wanted to start walking again and training for some sort of marathon, and I hoped to write about it on my blog. But lately I have realized that my issues are much more complex than just writing about walking and losing weight. My whole life is sort of out of control, and has been out of control for quite a bit of time now. And there is just no way that I can lose weight and be healthy if I don't start trying to address some of these issues first.

As I mentioned in my last post, my house is out of control. It's surprising that my finances are not out of control, but only because of the easiness that online banking affords. I've been known to pay many bills late and my finances would also be out of control if I weren't able to log into online banking and pay all my bills in less than two minutes.

I have been neglecting everything about myself for quite a bit of time now.

To illustrate this point, I bought a car over a year ago and I still have failed to put the license plates on the car. A couple of months ago, I moved the license plates inside of my car and they are probably under the back seat somewhere. And I have just realized that I have never paid my car registration for this year, which expired at the beginning of May, and now I probably have to pay a fine for being late. Well, so goes my life story.

Another example is that I have lived in my house for over ten years and I have hardly done any upkeep on the maintenance of it. About two years ago, the dish soap rack fell off the shower wall and I have never even replaced it. Around that same time, I also took some of the grout off of the shower and vowed to replace it. Which I haven't. Every single time that I take a shower, I imagine that the water is probably seeping down under the bathtub and probably rotting the floor.

I have lived in this house for over a decade now, and I have not bought one major thing for the house other than a coffee table and a side table. Everything else was bought for me by my mother or given to me from my father. I want to pull my hair out because I think that it's about damn time that I take time out to make this house my own! Can I please just have my own couch and paintings on the walls??

Clearly I must be depressed, because that's the only explanation I can think of.

I rarely clean the house (except yesterday--I cleaned for five hours, trying to get my life back in order!). I rarely buy any new clothes or shoes for myself, and I literally wear something until it is no longer wearable anymore. I haven't gone on vacation in years-and I used to love to travel. Instead of vacation, I work, work and work. In fact, I work so much that my life has become out of balance because I would rather work a fourteen hour day than take time out for myself in order to have a vacation or relax.

So I am taking a break from trying to lose weight and I am going to just focus on cleaning up and fixing my environment. In the meantime I am going to try to eat better, sleep better, and exercise. But at this point I am so overwhelmed that I just can't do all of it, and I've got to focus first on my immediate environment because I just can't live like this anymore.


  1. Wow - I so get this post. I was exactly where you are about a year ago. And you're right - first things first. Take a serious self-inventory of all the things that are out of control, and then one step at a time work through them. I found that doing some serious clearing of space in my house - closet cleaning, charity giving and garage sales - made room for new beginnings and a new attitude. After my environment became more soothing and nurturing, I was able to tackle my health and weight issues. I'm proud to say now that, although my life is by no means smooth sailing all the time, I've managed to lose 30 pounds, a job I hated, and reclaim my peace of mind!
    Don't give up - you can do it too!


  2. You have such a great blog - so open and honest. And its true, a lot of the times we have important things to take care of before we can fully take care of ourselves. I have a website,, and would love to hear from you! ShareWIK (share What I Know) is a website devoted to bringing together women from all different situations and backgrounds (as well as a few men!) to talk about their experiences and learn from each other. We have a group on ShareWIK called "Weight Loss" as well as many articles posted on the subject of losing weight and exercise that could really use your input. Hope to hear from you!
    - Diana Keough
    P.S. Heres the link to the articles.
    And keep up the great work!

  3. Stay focus and getting motivated really helps in reaching your goals.

  4. Okay...this post makes my heart hurt for you. As I commented on Part 1...your environment, what you do, how much you work, even how much you weigh and what clothes you wear....ALL are a product of what's going on inside of yourself. For a lot of people, like "Scent Magic" above, making a list and tackling it seems to work---but most will tell you that something changed within themselves that allowed that to happen. Beating yourself up/pulling your hair out...making a list of all the things you should have done and/or want to do won't get you very far at all. Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps only works if you have strong bootstraps. Work from the inside out. One thing that has "always" helped me is writing. This post is a great start.

    Don't give up.

  5. Wow! Can I relate. I just had major surgery so my whole life was out of control. I couldn't exercise for about 6 months. My house was out of my control and in the hands of others. I wish I could say this is the only time I've been where you are but not so. I found "acting as if" was my only way out. I would decide what I wanted to do and act as if I was going to get it done and then somehow I fooled myself and got it done. I kept it simple and wrote only a couple things a day on my list, by and by it got done.

    You're not alone. I have no idea how many women go through the "I'm stuck" blues but I'm sure many do. Now that you freely admit you want to do something about it hopefully you'll find a way to get what you want done...done.

  6. Just happened onto your blog and its really great! Keep at it. Put yourself first on the list..or if your like me..get on the list..I find I am often NOT on my own list. It is not selfish to put yourself first. It is self care!

    Keep writing, walking and start doing what you need to steps count too!

  7. I can so relate to feeling that overwhelmed...
    If I don't get up and do something now, I am going to lose it , too. And i don't mean the weight. Just started a blog about my weightloss journey, too.

  8. You are not alone. We all have our small frustrations in life but we should be thankful for the things that we have. Life is getting tougher these days and we should be as well. Cheer up!

    how can i stop snoring

  9. Nice Posting. Buy diet and weight loss products on

  10. To get things together once again I think you should take a vacation. Taking a vacation can improve your mental health. In fact a study found that people who took frequent vacations were less likely to become depressed, tense, or tired. Additionally, those who rarely took vacations were likelier to have stress at home and sleep less. Think. Think. :)

  11. Hi,
    Ive been following your blog and I wanted to show you this great website a friend told me about. I have children so it is important for me to have safe household cleaners and I want to make sure that I am not giving them toxins. Besides saving 30-40% on my monthly bills. If your interested please send me an email at


Blog Widget by LinkWithin