Holding Myself Accountable

I.don't.want.to.exercise.today. I don't want to! No, no, no! But, I'm going to make myself exercise anyways.

I just got home from work and sat down to have a nice cup of green tea because I am literally dragging so much that I am going to need to a boost to push me to go on my walk. I've been dragging so much that I promised a friend that I would drive 40 miles over to her house so that I will go walking with her in order to hold me accountable. It's quite ridiculous, I know, because I could have been over and done with my walk by the time that I arrive at her house. Trust me though when I say that it is something that I need to do in order to hold me accountable.

In fact, I have taken to lying to my boyfriend and a close friend over my eating and exercise habits over the past week. Did I really tell my boyfriend, "Oh, yes, I exercised for an hour this morning" last week? I was so relieved when he looked at me with his suspicious eyes and said, "Well, we'll walk again this evening. It won't hurt you!" I whined and complained and threw a fit, laying down the bed. He just stood there until my fit was over and we went on the walk. When I later admitted to him that I had lied, he told me that he already knew that I was lying.

Has it really come to this, that I lie to my loved ones about whether or not I have eaten well or exercised? I mean, really?! What the hell is wrong with me?! It's not as if they will not notice that I am not losing weight. It's obvious to me that I've got a major problem if I've got to lie about it to my loved ones.

My boyfriend and a friend of mine conspired to keep their eye on me, or so I've been told. My friend told me that she will take me with her to the Pink concert on Friday for free AND she will take me on vacation with her for two weeks next week if I walk everyday with her this week and every single day on vacation. Now, I love the musician Pink and I really want to go on vacation, so therefore I will be driving the 40 miles to walk for an hour each day with her. Whatever it takes to motivate me, right?

Am I the only person who has lied to a loved one who is concerned about his or her health, eating or exercise habits? Why am I doing this?!